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overwhelming, I would rationalize that I had given enough for the day and call it “happy hour,” which truthfully is not very happy. With the help of alcohol,
I would check out, withdrawing from those who loved me—focusing instead on my anger at why I was not getting out of life what I thought I truly deserved.
Addiction is not
the answer to other
addictions. I tried
to rationalize and
moderate my work
addiction with alcohol
in the evenings. When
I couldn’t function
well the next day, I
developed an addiction
to coffee. With no time
to eat right or exercise, I
became addicted to junk
food and slovenliness, rationalizing that I simply didn’t have time to take care of myself or my things. There was no time for self, no time for God, no listening to true intuition, no time to read and learn.
There was just the church of immediate gratification, and I was a devoted member. The harder I worked, the more stuff I gathered, and the fewer friends I had. The ensuing loneliness led me to create another addiction: false heroism. I wanted to be appreciated
and would insert myself into situations where I was neither wanted nor needed, and force my solution onto the situation. No one appreciates that kind of hero, and they certainly don’t call on them
when there is a real need. But, sitting
on my Pyrrhic throne, I would console myself with the knowledge that I had saved the day and would wonder, “Where are all my loyal and appreciative followers?”
Life is not kind when we choose that course, and if that is the path you are on,
therefore ‘I need it’” is the wrong use of paradynamics. Instead, we could be in touch with and take care of our needs in healthy and honorable ways. What is really important is defining what those needs truly are.
Knowing begins with prayer and meditation, which can provide us with
a well-founded “needs” list, if and when we
are willing to truly listen. After learning my lesson, albeit the hard way, I took time
to discover my true needs, and my priorities have certainly changed: God first, then my wife, then the rest of my family. While attending to these, I think of
how important my health is to being absolutely and continuously available to those who truly need me. Everything else finds a way to sort itself out in the order that is best.
And my new motto is ... Live Valiantly!
For many years, all too often I found myself fallingintothetrapofvaluing‘wants’over‘needs.’ That led me to being trapped in work scenarios that took away from my time with God and family. By allowing my mind to act on those wants,
I caused harm to those close to me. I am truly sorry and sincerely apologize to everyone who has ever encountered me in that state.
please take a moment and reconsider. There is a better way. If you believe in God, pray; if you don’t, pray twice as much and spend some time meditating. Take the long view and the high road, considering first the consequences of actions before acting on them. Consider the words of Mr. Moss, who enjoyed doing good and building a lasting legacy for his family. He acted as an honorable and Godly man. Consequently, I never heard anyone speak of him with anything but kindness.
For the most part, far too many
of us make decisions based on our emotions and then try to rationalize the decision with facts. “‘I want it’ so
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