Where 
Did It Go? – Departments

A friend’s death, and the philosophy of life he wrote as a teenager, has one writer asking what it really means to run out of time.

By George Doebler

Appeared in Cityview Magazine, Vol. 42, Issue 5 (September/October 2026)

Time – is it a part of my life that I can guide, control, enjoy? Or does it (whatever it is) control me? Does it pass so quickly in my life that I am overwhelmed by it?

I am at an age (time) in my life where people I have worked with, played with, and loved are dying, their time coming to its end. Their “warranty has run out”, so to speak. In October of last year, a friend who I admired died of Lou Gehrig’s disease (also known as ALS). He was a vibrant personality. Even in the course of dying and becoming unable to walk or speak, his presence was significant.

At the memorial event in June, his daughter read a letter her dad had written. It was his philosophy of life: how he experienced marriage and friendship, and what he hoped he could do for others. Afterward, she sent me a copy of what he had written. I was amazed at how clear his philosophy and idea of time and goals in life were. He was eighty-three when he died, but the philosophy of life he had written, and that his daughter had read and shared, was written when he was in high school as a writing assignment in English class!

Joseph somehow had learned in his early life, in his family from his mom and dad, what his life (time) was meant to be about. He went on to live a very successful life, and now that he has passed, his words have made me wonder: is it somehow possible when we wonder about “where has the time gone?” that we are asking “how have 
I lived my life, and what am I doing with life now?”

As it did with Joseph, life starts with the family. For our early years (time) they are our entire lives, and for many of us they remain a substantial part of it throughout our lifetimes. Is it possible that how we have lived and spent our time has something to do with the family we were born into? Is it possible that my being the oldest brother in my nuclear family has something to do with how I live and spend time? Is it possible that how I spend time may have to do with not just my immediate family, but the generations of Doeblers, Stuckings, and Zappas that have gone before me?

Knowing more about grandparents, even great-grandparents, can perhaps teach us about our time here in this place we find ourselves. Not easy for those who do not know about their family histories. It seems we do not want to look much at history today, even if it was an important part of who we are.

The world we seem to live in now focuses on increments – minutes, hours, days, etc., small bits and pieces, some of which are deceiving. The “News Hour” on the major outlets, for instance, is really only 15 minutes; the rest of “the hour” is advertising something. (The stations also work together so that you cannot ‘switch stations’ to better use your time; they all ‘advertise’ at the same time). Media does have a lot to say about how our time is spent, but how much of it we give to media says a lot more about each of us than it does the media.

But Joseph’s Philosophy of Life wasn’t about the media, and I’d like to come back to that now. When he was 16-17 (time), he wrote: “The happiness I am looking for will come to me when I marry the girl I have described. We will work toward similar goals, in compatible ways, accepting each other’s beliefs and ideals as equally valid and valuable as our own. 
I will comfort her when need is there, not the exception. 
We will serve each other gladly, physically and spiritually.”

Joseph learned to live – spend time, give time, share time – very early in life. Looking back into the family that each of us grew up in can be a tool into seeing where our ‘time’ has gone and is going. And perhaps that can help us shed the feeling of overwhelm we sometimes feel when we look at our lives and help us look forward to what still lies ahead.