Page 46 - Cityview_May_June_2014

laugh

illustration by r. Daniel Proctor
THE KnOXOnOMIST

Dear Knoxonomist,

I have lived in Knoxville for some

years now, and just in my memory

there seem to have been a lot of

eateries in the area of Bearden Hill

that are no longer with us. What

gives? Why does the Bearden area

often have such a difficult time
supporting fine restaurants?

Hungry in Bearden

—Knoxville

Dear Observant Gourmand,
policy announced their casual dress and then they started serving margari-
code and kid-friendly menu. The tran- tas in a fish bowl. The cocktail was a

There are indeed many bones on sition proved awkward, as the infusion Knoxville legend called a “Why Not”—
Bearden hill: bones of all the restau- of loud brats and ball jerseys neces- and the reason is now all-too-obvious:

rants that were good, but refused to sitated a cover story from the bemused “Why Not”=felony DuI. Casa gallardo
change—or those that were good, but former patrons: “oh, no, I didn’t dress had to say, “Adios.”

kept changing for no reason. (or those especially for supper. I just came from of course, the real Bermuda Tri-
that were never that good, but seemed a funeral—a very fashionable funeral— angle is safely navigated every day,

to hang on and on, always evolving into with martinis.” The Knoxonomist is no and, similarly, good folks that love
lower quality versions of themselves restaurateur, but he is quite sure that food and service will always make a go

until they. eventually. died.)
cigars, smoking jackets, and children of it on Bearden hill. The wind may
The Answer is simple. Bearden hill don’t go together.
sometimes be taken out of your sails,

is the Bermuda Triangle for Knoxville Through the decades there have but if your compass and commitment
restaurants. By that, the Knoxonomist been some real doozies in Bearden. to good food and fun is true, then the

means some of these disappearances Shakey’s Pizza was cool back in the waters—or, in this case, the road traf-
are a mystery—and some just aren’t. day—as long as you could tolerate end- fic—can be navigated.

When a flight of trained airmen disap- less renditions of “Proud Mary” and
pears, it is a mystery. When a boatload seating straight out of the Elk’s Club. the Knoxonomist
welcomes your questions—although
of drunks fails to make Nassau, it is not.
Shakey’s disappeared because the res- he will answer only those that interest him. Send your
Consider harry’s: at one time Knox- taurant wouldn’t add thick crust to the inquiries to TheKnoxonomist@cityviewmag.com, and

ville’s best shot at a “Big Shoulders” menu—at least, that’s how the Knox- include your name, address, and daytime phone number.
cigar bar. The vibe was great, the food onomist recalls it.
The Knoxonomist and his secretary are busy, however, and

was great, and one wasn’t merely a Casa gallardo was another assault regret that we cannot acknowledge receipt of e-mails.
patron but rather a part of the atmo- on the senses. It was the quintessential

sphere. And then—abruptly—a new
over-the-top Tex-Mex extravaganza—

44 cityviewmag.com may june 2014