The Knoxonomist

Dear Knoxonomist:Every Christmas our kids, grandkids, and their dogs arrive at our house for what always turns out to be a full-fledged bacchanalia. The grandkids shake the walls with their rough housing and yelling, the parents drink too…
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Dear Knoxonomist: What’s the deal with the new ban against using cell phones while driving? I understand distracted driving is an issue, but why single out cell phones? If we’re going to outlaw driving distractions, why not outlaw…
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Dear Knoxonomist: My brother, wife, and kids are planning a beach trip. I think they asked me primarily because I have an SUV to haul a bunch of useless junk they don’t need–inflatable animals, beach chairs, bicycles, coolers, and…
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Dear Stefan, Dear Knoxonomist:I'm thinking of subscribing to one of those services that send you the recipes and ingredients to make home-cooked meals. I’m a sophisticated cook with quality cooking utensils, and I know my way around…
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Dear Knoxonomist: The other day, my 12-year-old daughter pretended to be sick to avoid school. She’s a good kid so I took her at her word and let her stay home. That night I overheard her on the phone telling a friend that she had…
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Dear Knoxonomist:During the holiday season I had guests who didn’t know when to pack up and head out. I deliberately clogged up a toilet. That worked—my brother, his wife, their four kids, and their three little rat-dogs cleared out. Any…
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Dear Knoxonomist: On Facebook, many of my friends make very emotionally manipulative posts. “If you are truly my friend,” they say, “you’ll share my post.” Frankly, I find this tactic an eye-rollingly pathetic plea for attention. How…
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Dear Knoxonomist: My auto mechanic recently said he thinks the Earth is flat. I was gobsmacked. What do you say to a flat earther? —Roger, Farragut Dear Rational Roger: Gobsmacked! The Knoxonomist has been flabbergasted, astounded,…
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Dear Knoxonomist: We’ve been so inspired by Do It Yourself shows that we’re getting ready to start on our first project, gutting our kitchen and putting in a new one—just like Chip and Joanna! Any last-minute tips? — Ryan and Becky…
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Dear Knoxonomist: Are smartphones smart? — Celia Powell, TN Dear Cellphone Celia: Much as beauty is in the eye of the beholder, the smartness of smartphones is in the mind of the user. “Smart” implies some decision-making…
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