The Knoxonomist

Dear Knoxonomist:During the holiday season I had guests who didn’t know when to pack up and head out. I deliberately clogged up a toilet. That worked—my brother, his wife, their four kids, and their three little rat-dogs cleared out. Any…
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Dear Knoxonomist: On Facebook, many of my friends make very emotionally manipulative posts. “If you are truly my friend,” they say, “you’ll share my post.” Frankly, I find this tactic an eye-rollingly pathetic plea for attention. How…
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Dear Knoxonomist: My auto mechanic recently said he thinks the Earth is flat. I was gobsmacked. What do you say to a flat earther? —Roger, Farragut Dear Rational Roger: Gobsmacked! The Knoxonomist has been flabbergasted, astounded,…
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Dear Knoxonomist: We’ve been so inspired by Do It Yourself shows that we’re getting ready to start on our first project, gutting our kitchen and putting in a new one—just like Chip and Joanna! Any last-minute tips? — Ryan and Becky…
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Dear Knoxonomist: Are smartphones smart? — Celia Powell, TN Dear Cellphone Celia: Much as beauty is in the eye of the beholder, the smartness of smartphones is in the mind of the user. “Smart” implies some decision-making…
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Dear Knoxonomist: Whenever I take an early spring drive from Rockwood to Oak Ridge, I am overwhelmed by the daffodils on Pellissippi Parkway. Daffodils always complement redbuds and dogwoods. But I think it’s gotten a little out of hand.…
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Dear Knoxonomist: Over the summer, I fulfilled one of my dreams and bought a pickup truck, a beauty with a V-8, extended bed and liner, tie downs, assist steps—all the bells and whistles. Thing is, not two days after I took her home, my…
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Dear Knoxonomist: The other day, my girlfriend of 10 months asked me if I could help get her house ready for Christmas. We’ve both been married before, and it seems that her former husband did most of the labor-intensive decorating. In a…
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Dear Knoxonomist: I’ve been a Vol fan my entire life, and my blood runs orange! But I grew up with parents from a non-football town, and we didn’t attend the games. As a freshman last year, I fell in love with everything about going to…
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Dear Knoxonomist: In Washington, DC, my hometown, the drivers are aggressive and awful. You have to sink to their level and act like a crazed maniac just to merge onto the beltway. When I moved to Knoxville, I thought things…
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